Many of us live our lives in varying states of fear. One fear that I have been fighting is the fear of putting myself out there. Of putting myself out there for the world, only to have the world tell me that what I have to offer is not something that they value. As a blogger, I put myself out there – to an extent. However, I don’t do or say all of the things that I want to. There are stories inside of me, waiting to be told. Ideas waiting to be implemented. These stories and ideas are important to me. Perhaps that is the problem. I have such a personal investment in what I have to say and offer that the idea of it being criticized is wholly unappealing.
So I struggle. With getting my words out and with telling people what it is that I have to offer. I keep waiting for that perfect set of circumstances that will signal to me that “The World is Ready”, “I am Ready”, and “The Timing is Right”.
The fact that I hesitate so much is actually pretty ironic considering I am where I am right now because I jumped in head first – with no safety net. My only fear was what would happen to me if I didn’t jump right then. I didn’t wait for the stars to align. I just leapt as though my life depended on it.
Let me explain.
Those of you who have been following my blog for some time may already know my story. This will be a review for you. However, if you are just stumbling across this post, let me introduce myself.
My name is Tiffany. I am the mother of an almost-5-year-old son. Over 4 years ago, I became a single mother. As part of that transition, I had to adjust to my return to the workforce. For the 8 months since my son had been born, I had been able to stay home while my fiancée at the time brought in the majority of the income. I quickly learned that I did not feel comfortable with being completely dependent on someone else, so I did have a “side job” that brought in a few hundred dollars each month. However, it was minimal income in the grand scheme of things. Nowhere near enough to support a family. I was not receiving any financial assistance from my ex, so I had no option other than getting a job (at least that is what I thought at the time). I didn’t want to, but I knew that I had to do whatever it took to keep a roof over our heads. I told myself that I’d adjust.
The thing is, I didn’t. I HATED it. I hated being paid minimum wage even though I had two college degrees and tons of experience. I didn’t particularly enjoy my work duties. But, mostly, I hated feeling like someone else was raising my child while I struggled just to barely make ends meet.
Something had to give.
After 9 months or so (off and on) of working a traditional job, I decided that I couldn’t do it anymore. I knew that working from home was an option – after all, I had been earning some “extra” income from home for quite some time by then. So I quit my job. No savings account. No real income lined up. I just quit and determined that, somehow, I would make it work. I focused on my home-based business and my blog. Not too long after that, I was given the opportunity to become a freelance writer. I actually grew up wanting to be a writer, so this was a dream come true! I was getting paid to do something that I loved.
I haven’t looked back since.
I have shared my journey as a single WAHM here on my blog and on my Facebook fan page. Over the years, I have had numerous readers message me saying that they have been inspired by my determination to provide for my family by doing something that I truly enjoy and am able to do from home. They ask how they can do the same thing. How they can take control of their lives. They talk to me about how they are miserable doing what they do for a living. They crave the ability to do something that they love and get paid for it. Many of them felt the same as I felt about leaving my child every day. Several of them worked multiple jobs and still were just making ends meet. I could really relate to these pain points.
I want to help those people.
I CAN help those people.
But I have a fear of whether those people will LET me help them. I fear that since I have not achieved high levels of financial success, that they won’t view me as someone worth learning from – even though I have a great of knowledge and expertise to share. Even though I have a talent for communicating with people, helping them to gain clarity, and motivating them to take action. All that I have to offer seems so small when compared to the expectations that I imagine that people have.
But, you know what – it’s not my job to try to live up to other people’s expectations. It’s not even my job to convince people of my worth. It is my job to figure out what I have to offer the world and to show up when people need it. It is my job to put myself out there in a way that the people who need what I have to offer can find me.
I recently received a copy of “What To Do When It’s Your Turn (and it’s always your turn)” By Seth Godin. Among the MANY gems in this book, here is one sticks out to me in this moment:
“The best gift requires little of the recipient. The giver doesn’s ay, “Iworked hard to bring you this gift; you must love it, use it, embrace it. You must be grateful to me in recompense for how much I put into this gift. This gift controls you.”
Of course not. The best gift is accompanied by, “here, I made this. Do with it as you will.”
When you overstate the obligation of the audience, of course they’ll let you down, and when they do, you don’t have to show up again. What a great excuse to stop making your art, to hide…
It’s not your turn to win, or to be picked, or even your turn to be guaranteed gratitude…
It’s merely your turn to give a gift.”
That is why I signed up for April Bowles-Olin’s Creative Live course on marketing. I believe that it will show me some creative ways to reach the people who I am meant to reach in a way that feels genuine. It will help me to share my gift with as many as I can so that I can feel like I am doing something of value in the time I have been given on this Earth.
“This post is a part of the Double Your Followers blog tour to spread the word about April Bowles-Olin’s upcoming CreativeLive course. Does hearing the word ‘marketing’ make your armpits start to drip with anxiety? Are you terrified of sounding salesy or like you have the personality of a dead blowfish? If so, come join me and 2,500+ entrepreneurs who’re taking April’s latest CreativeLive course, Double Your Followers with Creative Marketing. You can RSVP and watch for FREE. Yep, free. High fives, wildflowers, wine samples. Who doesn’t love free?”
Question: Do you have a fear about putting yourself out there? What can you do to move past that fear?
