I’m going to be honest – I haven’t been enjoying blogging.
I started this blog back in 2010, when I was in the third trimester of my pregnancy. It was meant to be an online diary of sorts.
Anyone who really knows me knows that I love to write. I used to write all the time growing up. I also kept a series of diaries for several years that I wrote in nearly every day. It was my way of recounting and processing not only the events of the day, but how I felt about them. Some days I would whip out my diary as soon as something happened so that I could document it. Sometimes I wrote everything down at night. Sometimes it was just an observational exercise. Other times, it was more cathartic than anything. But it was always something that brought me peace afterwards.
That’s what I had hoped this blog would be.
During my pregnancy, I went through a great deal of emotional turmoil with my ex. The relationship was toxic. At the time that I started my blog, we were not together. I had moved halfway across the country to be with my family after finding out that he had cheated yet again AND become physically abusive. I felt like I needed to get away from him and just focus on my son and I. If you’ve read my blog from the beginning, you know that I did give him a final chance before officially becoming a single mom. But before that, I really just wanted my blog to be a place where I could be myself, share my thoughts, and talk about my experiences as a first-time mom.
I have often looked at where my blog is now, over 6 years later, and realized how far I have moved from my initial intent. I don’t think it is necessarily a bad thing. I am passionate about being able to work from home doing something that I love. I love the idea of helping other moms to realize that it can be a viable option for them as well. I love that other moms (and even women who don’t have kids) somehow find my journey inspiring. So I don’t mind sharing the content that I have been focused on lately.
However, there is a disconnect.
One that I have been feeling for a while.
I feel like I have become too focused on the fact that you can earn money blogging.
I was talking to my friend, Michelle, recently and we were talking about what would make us genuinely happy. What motivates us. My first thought was being able to provide for my son. Which equates to making enough money to support my family. But then we both had an a-ha moment.
Money is not important to us.
It really isn’t.
If it were what truly motivated me, I would probably be earning a lot more than I am right now. Especially considering I have been a freelance writer for over 4 years.
Back when I was in network marketing, everyone was so focused on making 6 figures a year. 5 figures a month. They made a big deal about how people were earning $10,000, $20,000, $30,000 and more…per month! They made us excited about the possibility of doing the same.
The same thing holds true in the blogging industry. I know some phenomenal bloggers who are making well into the 5 figures per month with their blogs. They amazed me. I looked up to them. Honestly, I still do. I am happy that so many people are able to get paid so much doing something that I imagine brings them joy.
But the thing is, making 5 figures a month isn’t what motivates me. I mean, hell yeah, it would be awesome to make that much. I could really do a lot of awesome things with that amount of income. However, the mere idea of making that much money isn’t what excites me.
What I want is to be able to do something that I LOVE LOVE LOVE and be able to live the life I want at the same time. I want to make a living doing something that I adore sooooo much that I have trouble falling asleep because I am too excited about what I am doing to stop. I want to make a living doing something that makes me feel giddy.
I am tired of trying to research what people want to read. I just want to write what I feel moved to write. And to be able to support my family by doing that.
Perhaps it sounds a bit idealistic?
Even as I was typing it, I found myself asking “Well, how can I make that happen?” But then a quote from Michelle’s book “The Earth Angel Awakening” popped into my head.
Earth Angel Awakening by Michelle Gordon
I think that has been my problem.
We all know that money makes the world go round. So it has this level of importance out of pure necessity. However, should it automatically follow that it is super important or that you can only be happy with a lot of money?
On a related note, is it possible that we are focusing on things in the wrong order? I think that a lot of us have this idea in our minds that once we earn a lot of money, we will be happy because we will be able to do everything that we want and have everything that we need.
However, I wonder if we focused more on the fact that we have the basics that we need and focused more on just doing the things that makes us the happiest, if maybe the money would flow in as a result.
Perhaps finding and pursuing our passions full-force would lead us to being able to earn more, After all, do we not throw all of our energy into the things we truly love? And is not more money earned when you work diligently and consistently?
I still find myself being logical about it. I mean, I can’t just throw caution to the wind and just write for the sake of writing, hoping that the money would come in. That would be foolhardy. Right?
But, at the same time, I can’t be so focused on writing for money that I do what I have been doing these past 4 years and forgetting to write for the pure joy of it.
I have to find my happy medium. Then I can work towards being fully where I want to be – which is getting paid to do ONLY what makes me happy and fulfilled.
Which brings us back around to my blog.
I want my blog to be more representative of my personality, my passions, my interests, and my goals. When I started taking blogging more seriously as a source of income, I always read that you should establish a niche for your blog. That you should get super specific about your content. That you should avoid bouncing all over the place.
I see the sense in that. Especially if you have plans to monetize your blog.
But I also feel that your blog should be a reflection of you as well as a reflection of who you are striving to become.
I am multi-faceted.
I am easily distracted.
I am sometimes serious and sometimes goofy.
I love to learn about things.
I love to be random.
I HATE being pigeonholed.
I HATE perpetual sameness.
I am the type of person to change the furniture around my house every few months just because I can’t stand for things to always be in the same spot.
So even though having a very specific niche is probably the smart thing to do, I don’t think it’s the “Tiffany” thing to do.
I want freedom. To talk about what is on my mind. To not bog myself down in keyword research and pageviews. To be free to talk to and have those people who can relate to what I’m talking about find me. I think that is what makes blogging fun and exciting. It’s why I love writing. I love the fact that something that I feel and write might awaken some type of feeling in someone else. Whether that feeling is kinship, inspiration, humor, thoughfulness, or something else entirely. I want to write words that people can connect with on a simple level.
As I said, yes, it would be lovely to continue to make money with my blog. I enjoy that, lol. But even if my blog made all the money in the world, right now, it would feel like a job continuing to do it this way.
I don’t want that. I already have something that is my ‘job’. Blogging is supposed to be my creative and emotional outlet. I need to give it the space and opportunity to be that.
So that is the plan.
I am no longer going to only publish content that fits neatly in a niche. That will no longer be my sole focus. My goal will be to write more for the joy of writing. I would apologize, but I see no need to. 🙂
With that being said, are any of you into things like meditation, manifestation, or EFT tapping? I’ve been getting more and more interested in those topics and would love if you could make some recommendations in the comments section.
I would also like to recommend my friend Michelle Gordon’s books. You may remember her from my book review of The Elphite or the time I interviewed her. Well, she has written a lot of great books, both a Visionary collection and a series about Earth Angels. I’ve read and own five of the books and can’t wait to finish the rest. Many of her novels revolve around finding your purpose in life and also touch on topics such as the afterlife, alternate dimensions, past lives, soul mates, and twin flames. I find the topics to be fascinating and her approach to them to be very enjoyable. If any of that sounds interesting to you, feel free to check out her Amazon page and/or her website.
Ok, well, that’s all for now. I’m off to hang out with Christian for a bit. Maybe we will go for a walk since it’s not terribly hot outside. Just as a heads up, my next planned blog post will feature “The Sneaky Chef“. If you have picky eaters in your family, you can sign up for updates on the right sidebar.
Talk to you later!
Tiffany
