I recently took to social media to share something that was on my mind.
“#Confession
I am not perfect.
My house is NEVER spotless.
Spring Cleaning? What’s that?
My son doesn’t go to bed at the same time every night.
We often eat in front of the tv.
I don’t have regularly scheduled playdates.
We don’t have homeschool every week.
I don’t cook 3 meals a day, 7 days a week.
I don’t have a meal plan.
When we go grocery shopping, chances are a few Lunchables make their way into the shopping cart.
We eat fast food sometimes and enjoy every single bite of it.
Sometimes I rewash the same load of clothes 3-4 times before I hang them out to dry because I keep forgetting.
I don’t fold clothes. I just stuff them into drawers.
Ok, sometimes I just leave them in the basket. Whatever. They’re clean.
Sometimes I have to refill the sink with hot soapy water 4-5 times because I keep forgetting to wash the dishes.
I am almost always super late returning library books and usually end up renewing them until they tell me that I can’t anymore.
I will probably never attempt 99% of the recipes and crafts that I pin on Pinterest. It’s just not gonna happen.
I have done a pretty good job of beating myself up over these things. Telling myself that I should be more organized. More crafty. A better housekeeper. A better this. A better that.
But the reality is that my son is happy.
My son loves me.
I am happy.
I get things done.
You know what? That’s enough.”
This was what I shared on my personal profile and my fan page. I wrote it after having a discussion with a good friend where we talked about how we often berate ourselves for the things that we don’t do, without acknowledging and celebrating the things that we do accomplish. About how we tend to engage in negative self-talk throughout the day that convinces us that we are somehow defective or not enough. About how we should realize that despite the negative things we tell ourselves, we actually accomplish a lot of really important things. About how maybe, just maybe, those things that we beat ourselves up over don’t really matter.
Almost immediately upon sharing my thoughts, people began to like the status and chime in with how they relate so much to what I said. It made me feel good to know that so many people read what I said and could resonate with it.
However, not everyone could relate to my sentiments or to the way I run my household. There are people who do keep their homes immaculate at all times, who only eat home-cooked meals, and who take joy in doing that. When they commented, I could have fallen into comparing myself to them. Wondered, yet again, why I couldn’t seem to do what they do.
But I refused to do that to myself.
To rip apart my personal narrative just because it is different than someone else’s.
At the end of the day, our individual narratives are beautiful because they are ours. We shouldn’t have to explain them or defend them. Nor should we feel ashamed of them.
We shouldn’t feel the need to look at someone else’s life or story and use that as a measuring device to see how we are doing. All we need to focus on is what we are doing that is right and good. The things we accomplish. The people we love. The actions we take. If the way we do things negatively impact our life, relationship, health, or happiness, then it is okay to say “You know what? This needs to change”. However, if you can look at those things and feel good, then chances are you don’t need to change a thing.
If we remove the negative self-talk and the comparisons, life could be so much sweeter.
So this is my message to myself (and to anyone else out there who needs it): Stop worrying so much about the inconsequential things. If those things do not have life or death consequences, then they are likely not worth stressing over. As long as needs are being met, people are healthy, and love is shared in abundance, that is enough.
