There is one question that I dread hearing above all others. Not “what’s happening to my body?” or even “Where do babies come from”. The question that I fear is “Why don’t I have a daddy?”
It is highly unlikely that Christian will get through his life without noticing that our family is different from some other families. Now, I realize that are many different kinds of families. Blended families. Families with two fathers or two mothers. However, I think that the “traditional” family is still one that includes a mother and a father (please don’t take this as a judgment against any family type because that is not my intention or my mindest). As he makes more friends, he may realize that it’s not exactly “normal” for there to be just the mother and child. And he will probably wonder why he doesn’t have a father. Which would bring us to the fact that his father left us. How do you explain that to a child? How much do you share with them and how much do you leave out? What age should you tell them the full story, if ever?
I don’t know how I should handle this. Ideally, he would never see anything abnormal in the way our family is. He would never question why his father is not in his life. He will never feel as though anything is lacking. But as the child of a single mom, I know that more than likely he will wonder. And he may blame himself. And I hate that.
I also know that I believe in honesty at all times. I am highly likely to tell him the real story (in a manner appropriate to his age). I honestly don’t see the point in lying to him in a n effort to protect his father. Some people will (and have) told me that I shouldn’t say anything disparaging about his father. The first person to say this was…*drum roll* his father. After he left but before he cut us off completely, he told me “I hope you won’t say or do anything to turn my son against me”. THE NERVE! I told him that I would only tell him the truth. The truth is worse than any lie I could come up with. But would I be wrong for telling Christian the truth?
What do you guys think?